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Social Anxiety
I've just had another weekend that could be filed under ‘Dull’. I didn't really go anywhere or do anything, barring Friday when I left work to meet Ed, and Large Northern (former) Flatmate, and chatted...
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Cats, Twats and Cults
My life hasn’t changed since I bought a cat on a whim (aka: Making tentative enquiries about a cat that accidentally snowballed into actually buying one, because by that point I was too embarrassed to...
View ArticleAn Unnecessary List of Documentaries No-one Asked For
Okay, so it's a new year and I haven't even mentioned it. I didn't even comment on Christmas, so just take it as read that I attempted to eat my own bodyweight in crisps and pork chipolatas every day...
View ArticleWomen Are Like Buses - But Sometimes You Have To Call a Cab
It's no secret that I've been single for years. The reasons are threefold:I no longer work for medium to large sized companies staffed exclusively by transient young things, many of whom are...
View ArticleMy (ha!) "Book"
So I've not posted for a while. That's not to say nothing's happened (although some sex would've been nice).Instead I've hit a writing slipstream and am making actual progress on this 'book' I've been...
View ArticleJob Applications
So it comes to this.I've not posted for several months, because I'm actually writing this bloody book, my Autowhyography. I'm doing it now except, okay, I've stopped as I'm trawling through past...
View ArticleThe 2nd Draft Is Done & My Mum Thinks I'm Gay
It's taken a year of angst, pain and pizza, but I've finally shat out the 2nd draft of my book. I finished the first draft two months ago thinking I'd be done in a couple of weeks. I'm not sure I'd...
View ArticleHappy New Year. I Have a Book
Bloody hell, it's been two months since I last wrote something? Sorry.And Happy New Year. I spent it with my Large Northern (former) flatmate as we wandered aimlessly from pub to pub until we found a...
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My Dad Has Five Days Left To Live
My sister and I thought Dad was on the mend when he was sent home from hospital a couple of weeks ago, but somebody fucked up. In their desperation to free a bed, they discharged a seriously ill man as...
View ArticleThe Great Escape
It's been seven weeks since Dad died and I'm fine. In fact I'm a little worried at how quickly I've defaulted back to 'normal', although there are a hellish amount of unresolved issues both with Dad,...
View ArticleThe Third Draft is Done. Long Live Draft Four.
I've almost finished my book, which is great timing now that I've stopped blogging and alienated all seven of my readers.This morning I typed my final paragraph, and will now return to the beginning...
View ArticleAwkward
The nice lady from the council's just come and collected the recording equipment. It's been in my apartment for the last three weeks, as once again I find myself living next to a neighbour who doesn't...
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Just weeks away
I'm the wrong side of a bottle of red, plus an almost out of date Carling that had been reduced and I bought because it's Friday and needed a beer for my delayed train home. Anyway, I realise I've not...
View ArticleRate My Title
Oh hello, happy new year. Apologies for the lack of anything but, y'know, book. I'm 20-something pages from the end of draft 5, then it's a cursory last-minute check before I publish this fucker once I...
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My Book (ha!) is Nearing Publication
It's only taken several years and seven drafts, but this weird fucking project of mine appears to be at an end.It's Only Egg & Cress, Do You Want It? is in the final proofing stages. THIS MAN is...
View Article'It's Egg & Cress, Do You Want It?' available to buy on Kindle now
Hardcopy to be released in the next few days stroke weeks. I'm just waiting for the back cover to be designed, plus I'll probably need to order myself a copy to check it for errors first.But for all...
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'It's Egg & Cress, Do You Want It?' now available as a physical book
I feel oddly subdued. My physical autowhyography proof arrived yesterday, and I've been thumbing through it with a twisted smile on my face as I fill up with one part pride, one part stunned silence. I...
View ArticleThe Book Is Dead; Long Live Benidorm
I've spent so many years torturing myself to create a story and bitching about it here, that I never imagined what it would be like if I did.Actually, that's not strictly true; I thought it would be...
View ArticleKindle Price Drop! Til the end of the week
You can now buy my shit hysterical autobiography for the bargain price of 99p ($1.54) which is a steal, considering how much it killed me to write.BUY IT HERE! AARGHH!The offer's only good for a few...
View ArticleSummer Holiday #1
I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was stood outside by the corner of the pub waiting for her boyfriend as Martin and I sat on a bench under the sun, catching up over a drink.I couldn't have been...
View ArticleSummer Holiday #2: France
I'd slept fairly well, considering I'd used Pete's sofa cushions as an improvised mattress and spent it on the floor while Pete snored next to me like a fucking sawmill.Dom was fully rested too. Pete...
View ArticleSummer Holiday #3: Spain
I couldn't sleep a wink. There was a sign above the window overlooking a dodgy rear carpark that I managed to translate into 'Open this, and all bets are off', so I lay there in the darkness broiling...
View ArticleMy Mum Doesn't Have Long To Live
I'm a little numb to be writing this; I'm still trying to summon up the will to finish writing what's become the world's longest summer holiday blog-post, when this has happened:At eight o'clock last...
View ArticleDenial
In retrospect, the loss of my father last year feels like Training Death. I apologise if that sounds flippant, but Dad's passing was almost textbook. He got older and greyer, he couldn't walk as well...
View ArticleForgive me Reader, For I Have Sinned. It's Been Two Years Since My Last Post
There aren’t, thankfully, many times in my life where I’m watching a shitstorm unfold in front of me while I think ‘Oh great! I did this.’But it happened on Christmas Day, my sister and two nieces...
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